I once learnt a neat trick to help with depression, called a "visualisation tool". I think I learnt it from the Enneagram but I'm not exactly sure where I got it from. Not that it matters... what matters is that it worked for ME!
I have been able to break myself out of a rut ever since. Sure it won't work for everyone, especially those who are clinically depressed, perhaps on meds or suffering from manic depression. But for those of you like myself whose woes stem largely from negative self-talk, this helps. Not just helps - cures it. It goes like this.
Life is full of disappointments. Not everything goes smoothly. Things don't always work out. Ok, got that.
This happens to all of us, whether you are a saint or an axe murderer, or most likely somewhere in between. It's how we deal with it that makes us different as healthy individuals.
If you suffer from negative self-talk fixation these 'little things' can spiral downward, until they end up totally out of proportion. The trick is to cut it off, nip it in the bud, stem the flow, etc before you get into a down mood, aka "the blues". At this point it is worth noting that repetitive fixation does not achieve anything (aka 'going around in circles'). It is totally unproductive.
As soon as you recognise the familiar voices - "I'm no good", "I'm a failure", "I always muck things up" you have identified the process. If you can do that, then this visualisation tool will do the trick to stop it from getting worse. If you can't discern when your own negative self-talk kicks in, then I'm afraid this won't help you. Off to therapy for you. Sorry.
Here it is in a nutshell.
Most of us are stationary, often sitting or lying, when the negative self-talk first kicks in. This is one reason why activity, including sport, work, even mundane chores is recommended as therapy and is preferable to wallowing in our mires - because actions engage the brain and circumvent the inner thought processes. So we sit there, or lie there, echoing our deriding sentences criticising our ineptness and patheticness.
Now, imagine a switch on the opposite wall.
This is the magic switch that turns off depression. You have to believe or at least imagine that it works. All you have to do is get up and go over to the wall, visualise the switch and flick it off. Don't make the mistake of sitting there and imagining that you're doing it — get up and do it!
It doesn't sound like much, does it? What you have done is stopped your thought processes, halted them in their tracks and shut down the broken record of your life commentary that is playing. NSTF over.
Sounds too easy? Well here's why it works.
Most of the self-perpetuating misery is a bad habit that, yes, plays like a broken record. As long as you're sitting there with your head in your hands going over and over with reciting your inadequacies and personal downfalls, you are only reinforcing the negative thoughts and driving the depression further and further downward.
By getting up out of the seat we are breaking the cycle, interrupting the thoughts, halting the downward spiral. Visualising the switch gives us a goal, and flicking this switch is acknowledging that we have control. It is incredibly empowering to discover that most of our suffering is self-inflicted - where we repeat messages learnt as children as we navigate through life and learn and internalise correct behaviours.
Unfortunately we also internalise the parental chastisement and forget to turn it off once we have learnt how to succeed (behave). If you're anything like me and you don't need anyone else to remind us of our shortcomings, you may well be a candidate for using the Imaginary Switch Trick. Try it. What have you got to lose? (apart from looking like a bit of an idiot walking over to walls and seemingly stroking them upwards)
To cap it off... it is perfectly normal to react to bad news and events with sadness, dismay, shock, horror etc. To not do so would be unhealthy. But to wallow in self pity, replaying a crisis over and over is unproductive and downright pathological. The healthy approach is to identify the problem, get help if necessary, decide on a solution and implement it.
Don't wallow in Negative Self-Talk. Flick that switch!
